Treat your Parents with Utmost Compassion
The Oceans of the Earth would drain, but a Mothers Heart would still beg for more Compassion
A mother once brought her young child to a great Imam of that time, requesting him to counsel the kid to refrain from eating too much sweet as it was harming his teeth and gums. The Imam asked the mother to come back after a month. A month later when the duo arrived in the presence of the Imam, he took the child to his side, and calmly asked him not to eat too much sweets and told him some of its ill effects. The mother wondered and inquired the Imam that he could have advised these things earlier also, why asked her to wait one month for just saying a few words of wisdom. To this the Imam replied that, a month ago he too was addicted to eating sweets, and didn’t thought it appropriate to preach what he practiced not, hence asked them to wait for a month during which time he eschewed all his vices of eating sweets.
On similar notes, for many years I contemplated writing something on Respect to Parents and duties of children towards their parents. But every time a voice inside my heart would ask me, are you practicing what you would eventually write? And I would recall all the smallest of the incidents in immediate past and present, wherein I disobeyed or disrespected my parents, only to repent later silently. I do admit I haven’t yet achieved the zeniths of veneration for my parents but I am on course to achieve it to the fullest possible extent.
In between the second Sunday of May and third Sunday of June, gave me time to think are we bounded by special days as Mothers Day and Fathers Day to remember, respect and show gratitude to our parents? Why does Islam say that every day of our Life should be a Parents Day? The answer lies in the way Allah almighty has decreed upon the status unto your parents immediately after he mentions about himself, not once but as many as 11-15 times in the Holy Qur’an. Allah Says. “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as] 'uff' [i.e., an expression of irritation or disapproval] and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say: 'My Lord! Have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.” [Quran 17:23-24]
The statement is as strong the words can be, directing the children to care for their parents, when it says you shouldn’t say even an expression of ‘uff’. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, the Jannat (Heaven) lies under the feet of a mother, and parents are your doors to Heaven. Once a man came to Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and asked who amongst his relatives had more right on him or who commanded greatest respect of an individual, to which The Prophet replied, “Your Mother”, after that, “Your Mother”, after that, “Your Mother” and after that, “Your Father”, thus indicating that a mother holds as much as three times right and holds respect over her children, than the father. The reason is because it is she who nurtures the child for 9 months in her womb bearing al the pains and travails of pregnancy. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) once said to followers, your entire life’s dedicated with full time service and obedience and respect to your mother you cannot repay even a second for the moment she had you in her womb during her pregnancy. Thus clarifying that you can never ever repay for the efforts your mother took to bring you in this world.
On similar notes, for many years I contemplated writing something on Respect to Parents and duties of children towards their parents. But every time a voice inside my heart would ask me, are you practicing what you would eventually write? And I would recall all the smallest of the incidents in immediate past and present, wherein I disobeyed or disrespected my parents, only to repent later silently. I do admit I haven’t yet achieved the zeniths of veneration for my parents but I am on course to achieve it to the fullest possible extent.
In between the second Sunday of May and third Sunday of June, gave me time to think are we bounded by special days as Mothers Day and Fathers Day to remember, respect and show gratitude to our parents? Why does Islam say that every day of our Life should be a Parents Day? The answer lies in the way Allah almighty has decreed upon the status unto your parents immediately after he mentions about himself, not once but as many as 11-15 times in the Holy Qur’an. Allah Says. “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as] 'uff' [i.e., an expression of irritation or disapproval] and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say: 'My Lord! Have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.” [Quran 17:23-24]The statement is as strong the words can be, directing the children to care for their parents, when it says you shouldn’t say even an expression of ‘uff’. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, the Jannat (Heaven) lies under the feet of a mother, and parents are your doors to Heaven. Once a man came to Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and asked who amongst his relatives had more right on him or who commanded greatest respect of an individual, to which The Prophet replied, “Your Mother”, after that, “Your Mother”, after that, “Your Mother” and after that, “Your Father”, thus indicating that a mother holds as much as three times right and holds respect over her children, than the father. The reason is because it is she who nurtures the child for 9 months in her womb bearing al the pains and travails of pregnancy. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) once said to followers, your entire life’s dedicated with full time service and obedience and respect to your mother you cannot repay even a second for the moment she had you in her womb during her pregnancy. Thus clarifying that you can never ever repay for the efforts your mother took to bring you in this world.
Allah has said in Qur’an, that a person who finds one or both parents in their old age and does
not take proper care for them, is the biggest loser and will never ever enter Jannat, because parents are the doors for a person’s path to Jannat. Narrating an incident on similar lines Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, ‘A man once on his deathbed was writhing in pain, as he was suffering from a grave disease. The situation was so appalling that neither he would come out of it nor his soul would leave his body, so as to relieve him of the agony and distress. People started enquiring about his past and came to know that he was a very pious and honest person in his life, took good care of his children, educated them, gave away charity regularly, was a devote Namazi 5 times a day and had even performed Hajj. They were puzzled as to how such a person could face such austerity at the time of his death. When someone came to know that his mother still lived in the outskirts of the city, and thought it appropriate to call her and help pray for her son’s painless death. However the mother was unrelenting, when people sought her help. She plainly declined to help or pray for her son, as he used to abuse her verbally and physically, when she became old and drove her out of their house on insistence of his wife. People realized that it was the curse of her mother that was the cause for the hardships the man was suffering. They pleaded her and finally laid down the man in front of her house. The stubborn mother tried ignoring, for sometime but her motherly heart finally melted hearing the man’s anguish. She came running out of her house and embraced her son, showering upon him the best of affection and cuddled him in her arms. The surprised man was finally able to move his lips and begged for her mercy and was able to say the Shahada. Immediately his soul left his body and he was relieved of all the pain and agony.’
Prophet Muhammad thus pointed out that no person would ever have a peaceful life or a painless death, as long he earns the wrath of his parents. And on the other hand it is the heart of a mother who would forget all the ill treatment meted out to her by her children and not bear to see them in anguish. One such story which most of us might have heard in our childhood holds stead for this case. ‘A man once lived with his widowed mother and wife. He was always derided by his wife that he loved his mother more than her. She would scold him and threaten to leave him if he did not get rid of the old lady. His mother on the other hand was happy and content in the way she was treated by them. She would ignore all the abuses and ill treatment meted to her by her daughter-in-law and sometimes even by her son, who was blinded by the love for his wife. The old lady would spend most of her time in prayers and would always respond back to them with a smile, which would annoy the man’s wife even more. Unable to stand her presence in the house, one day she thought of testing her husbands love for her. “Would you do anything for me, as you always say”, “Yes, anything, whatever you say” replied back the insane man. “Then bring me your mothers heart in a plate, tonight”, she declared after seeking his swear. Though he felt the anguish that he would feel by killing his old mother, he did not relent. The foolish and indiscreet man he was, he killed the pious mother that night in her sleep, cut open her bosom and took her heart out. As he was carrying the heart to her lady love, he tripped on the way over a stone and fell down, bruising himself. Out came a concerned voice from the mother’s heart lying on the ground, “Son! Did you hurt yourself?” So agonized he was over his act, but alas, he couldn’t repent.’
All these incidents tell us how high the reverence of parents should be in our lives, and how much distress and troubles we cause unto them, their care, concern and love for us would never subside. A man once asked Prophet Muhammad (SAW), what the difference was between parents caring for their children when young and the children in return taking care of their parents, when they are old. “Immense and Incomparable” said The Prophet (SAW) “When you are a small and helpless toddler, your parents take care of you, seeing you grow up and taking pleasure in each and every act. Every passing day is a delightful chapter not just for you but for them as well. They soak the happiness in the development of the tree they are nurturing in form of you, as an asset. However when a son takes care of his parents in their old age, he does so out of a feeling of mercy and favor. He always thinks of them as a liability upon him and feels they are helpless. A person taking care of his parents in old age sees their death as the end of his efforts, but the parents taking care of their children see the whole life and success of their wards as the end of their effort, which however never ceases, even when they become old and helpless” a clear interpretation that the two things can never be equated. Islam lays down clear guidelines on the duties of the children towards their parents and how they should obey and respect them. Allah has equated disrespect and not caring for old parents amongst the greatest of discontent in Islam. Once while climbing upon the steps of the Mimbar (Place in Masjid from where the sermon and Khutbaa is delivered), Prophet Muhammad (SAW) among three other things also said, ‘Disgraced will be that person, who finds one or both his parents in old age and does not enter paradise.’ This is because Islam has indicated that Paradise lies under the feet of your mother, and your father is the door through which you would enter the heaven.
Allah has said one look of disrespect or annoyance towards your parents, could wipe your years of prayers and good deeds, however devout you might be. In the same context one glance of deep reverence with a smile on your face for your parents, could please Allah so much so as to wipe out all your sins and pave the way for your entry in Jannat. Speaking of obedience, this incident narrates how respect for parents can reap rich rewards. Three people while traveling in ancient Arabia were caught in between a furious storm and sought shelter under small cave along way. However rains and mudslides closed the mouth of the cave with a huge stone. The three travelers were trapped in the eerie darkness without food and water and depleting supply of air. All their efforts to push open the blockage went in vain. Tired they turned to Allah and prayed for help, when one of them suggested relating one act of greatness each of the three had done in past, which would please the Almighty. The first one remembered how he had donated pounds of gold towards building a huge
Masjid in his town and an orphanage, and immediately the stone at the entrance moved, but just showing a small crevice. The second one remembered how once he kept fast for 60 days and prayed day and night to please Allah. Upon this the stone again moved but only by a few inches. Then the third person related an incident when once his mother woke up in the middle of the night feeling hungry and he broke his sleep to answer to her mothers call. But when he went back to her with a glass of milk, she was asleep again, so he stood there patiently waiting upon her mother, to wake up, but didn’t thought it appropriate to arouse her or go back without attending her in person. He had not just finished with his deed, when with a loud sound the stone moved again, but this time opening the mouth completely, to let out the distraught travelers.
Allah has regarded respect to parents immediately after his worships, thus holding its reverence over and above any other good deed. None of your prayers, pilgrimage, charity and help will materialize unless you have the blessings and acceptance of your parents. Allah has said he who earns the wrath and insolence of his parents will never be pardoned and never come even near to the scent of Jannat. On the eve of Battle of Badr, when Muslims were enrolling themselves to fight for Islam, a young man came forth Prophet Muhammad (SAW) seeking his permission to fight for Allah’s cause. The Prophet (SAW) enquired if both or either of his parents was alive, to which he replied that his mother is with him. The Prophet (SAW) again enquired, if he had any other sibling or close relative who would take care of his mother in his absence or if he were to die in the battle. The young man responded in negative and said that he was the sole dependent for his mother. The Prophet (SAW) then counseled him, “Go back to your mother and take proper care of her. See to it that she faces no troubles and do not give her a cause of agony, as long as she is alive, and even after her death pray for her and give charity in her name. This will be more rewarding for you than being martyred in the battle for Allah’s cause. Caring and respect for your parents is the greatest Jehad you can perform in Islam.”
Islam directs its followers to care for their parents not only when they are alive but also when
they are no longer with you. A man once asked Prophet Muhammad (SAW) how he can care for his parents as both of them were now dead. To which he was advised to visit their grave regularly, pray for them, remember them in his prayers and seek Allah’s blessings for them as long as they are in their graves and for the Day of Judgment. Also distribute charity in their names, and attribute as much as goodness he can do unto others in their name for their benefit. In another case Prophet Muhammad (SAW) advised that under no circumstance should a person rebuke or look upon his parents with impertinence, even if his father is a drunkard, even if they belong to other religion, even if they do not treat him well or even if they do not do justice amongst the siblings. It is upon Allah to punish or guide them through their transgression and not the children. Instead they should try their best to advocate them and make them see what’s right, but with utmost respect and entreats, not by ordering or forceful ways.
The beautiful religion that Islam is it holds Respect for Parents amongst the highest virtues. It guides its followers to pay tribute for the travails and adversity a mother faces in giving birth and a father toils to bring up a child to make him a good human being. Islam makes us to comprehend the fact that life is a vicious cycle and we as parents might have to face the same situation before our children as we would offer to our parents. Who can forget the story of the perturbed pleas of the woman who was ready to give her only child to other woman, than see King Solomon cut it into two.
not take proper care for them, is the biggest loser and will never ever enter Jannat, because parents are the doors for a person’s path to Jannat. Narrating an incident on similar lines Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, ‘A man once on his deathbed was writhing in pain, as he was suffering from a grave disease. The situation was so appalling that neither he would come out of it nor his soul would leave his body, so as to relieve him of the agony and distress. People started enquiring about his past and came to know that he was a very pious and honest person in his life, took good care of his children, educated them, gave away charity regularly, was a devote Namazi 5 times a day and had even performed Hajj. They were puzzled as to how such a person could face such austerity at the time of his death. When someone came to know that his mother still lived in the outskirts of the city, and thought it appropriate to call her and help pray for her son’s painless death. However the mother was unrelenting, when people sought her help. She plainly declined to help or pray for her son, as he used to abuse her verbally and physically, when she became old and drove her out of their house on insistence of his wife. People realized that it was the curse of her mother that was the cause for the hardships the man was suffering. They pleaded her and finally laid down the man in front of her house. The stubborn mother tried ignoring, for sometime but her motherly heart finally melted hearing the man’s anguish. She came running out of her house and embraced her son, showering upon him the best of affection and cuddled him in her arms. The surprised man was finally able to move his lips and begged for her mercy and was able to say the Shahada. Immediately his soul left his body and he was relieved of all the pain and agony.’Prophet Muhammad thus pointed out that no person would ever have a peaceful life or a painless death, as long he earns the wrath of his parents. And on the other hand it is the heart of a mother who would forget all the ill treatment meted out to her by her children and not bear to see them in anguish. One such story which most of us might have heard in our childhood holds stead for this case. ‘A man once lived with his widowed mother and wife. He was always derided by his wife that he loved his mother more than her. She would scold him and threaten to leave him if he did not get rid of the old lady. His mother on the other hand was happy and content in the way she was treated by them. She would ignore all the abuses and ill treatment meted to her by her daughter-in-law and sometimes even by her son, who was blinded by the love for his wife. The old lady would spend most of her time in prayers and would always respond back to them with a smile, which would annoy the man’s wife even more. Unable to stand her presence in the house, one day she thought of testing her husbands love for her. “Would you do anything for me, as you always say”, “Yes, anything, whatever you say” replied back the insane man. “Then bring me your mothers heart in a plate, tonight”, she declared after seeking his swear. Though he felt the anguish that he would feel by killing his old mother, he did not relent. The foolish and indiscreet man he was, he killed the pious mother that night in her sleep, cut open her bosom and took her heart out. As he was carrying the heart to her lady love, he tripped on the way over a stone and fell down, bruising himself. Out came a concerned voice from the mother’s heart lying on the ground, “Son! Did you hurt yourself?” So agonized he was over his act, but alas, he couldn’t repent.’All these incidents tell us how high the reverence of parents should be in our lives, and how much distress and troubles we cause unto them, their care, concern and love for us would never subside. A man once asked Prophet Muhammad (SAW), what the difference was between parents caring for their children when young and the children in return taking care of their parents, when they are old. “Immense and Incomparable” said The Prophet (SAW) “When you are a small and helpless toddler, your parents take care of you, seeing you grow up and taking pleasure in each and every act. Every passing day is a delightful chapter not just for you but for them as well. They soak the happiness in the development of the tree they are nurturing in form of you, as an asset. However when a son takes care of his parents in their old age, he does so out of a feeling of mercy and favor. He always thinks of them as a liability upon him and feels they are helpless. A person taking care of his parents in old age sees their death as the end of his efforts, but the parents taking care of their children see the whole life and success of their wards as the end of their effort, which however never ceases, even when they become old and helpless” a clear interpretation that the two things can never be equated. Islam lays down clear guidelines on the duties of the children towards their parents and how they should obey and respect them. Allah has equated disrespect and not caring for old parents amongst the greatest of discontent in Islam. Once while climbing upon the steps of the Mimbar (Place in Masjid from where the sermon and Khutbaa is delivered), Prophet Muhammad (SAW) among three other things also said, ‘Disgraced will be that person, who finds one or both his parents in old age and does not enter paradise.’ This is because Islam has indicated that Paradise lies under the feet of your mother, and your father is the door through which you would enter the heaven.Allah has said one look of disrespect or annoyance towards your parents, could wipe your years of prayers and good deeds, however devout you might be. In the same context one glance of deep reverence with a smile on your face for your parents, could please Allah so much so as to wipe out all your sins and pave the way for your entry in Jannat. Speaking of obedience, this incident narrates how respect for parents can reap rich rewards. Three people while traveling in ancient Arabia were caught in between a furious storm and sought shelter under small cave along way. However rains and mudslides closed the mouth of the cave with a huge stone. The three travelers were trapped in the eerie darkness without food and water and depleting supply of air. All their efforts to push open the blockage went in vain. Tired they turned to Allah and prayed for help, when one of them suggested relating one act of greatness each of the three had done in past, which would please the Almighty. The first one remembered how he had donated pounds of gold towards building a huge
Masjid in his town and an orphanage, and immediately the stone at the entrance moved, but just showing a small crevice. The second one remembered how once he kept fast for 60 days and prayed day and night to please Allah. Upon this the stone again moved but only by a few inches. Then the third person related an incident when once his mother woke up in the middle of the night feeling hungry and he broke his sleep to answer to her mothers call. But when he went back to her with a glass of milk, she was asleep again, so he stood there patiently waiting upon her mother, to wake up, but didn’t thought it appropriate to arouse her or go back without attending her in person. He had not just finished with his deed, when with a loud sound the stone moved again, but this time opening the mouth completely, to let out the distraught travelers.Allah has regarded respect to parents immediately after his worships, thus holding its reverence over and above any other good deed. None of your prayers, pilgrimage, charity and help will materialize unless you have the blessings and acceptance of your parents. Allah has said he who earns the wrath and insolence of his parents will never be pardoned and never come even near to the scent of Jannat. On the eve of Battle of Badr, when Muslims were enrolling themselves to fight for Islam, a young man came forth Prophet Muhammad (SAW) seeking his permission to fight for Allah’s cause. The Prophet (SAW) enquired if both or either of his parents was alive, to which he replied that his mother is with him. The Prophet (SAW) again enquired, if he had any other sibling or close relative who would take care of his mother in his absence or if he were to die in the battle. The young man responded in negative and said that he was the sole dependent for his mother. The Prophet (SAW) then counseled him, “Go back to your mother and take proper care of her. See to it that she faces no troubles and do not give her a cause of agony, as long as she is alive, and even after her death pray for her and give charity in her name. This will be more rewarding for you than being martyred in the battle for Allah’s cause. Caring and respect for your parents is the greatest Jehad you can perform in Islam.”Islam directs its followers to care for their parents not only when they are alive but also when
they are no longer with you. A man once asked Prophet Muhammad (SAW) how he can care for his parents as both of them were now dead. To which he was advised to visit their grave regularly, pray for them, remember them in his prayers and seek Allah’s blessings for them as long as they are in their graves and for the Day of Judgment. Also distribute charity in their names, and attribute as much as goodness he can do unto others in their name for their benefit. In another case Prophet Muhammad (SAW) advised that under no circumstance should a person rebuke or look upon his parents with impertinence, even if his father is a drunkard, even if they belong to other religion, even if they do not treat him well or even if they do not do justice amongst the siblings. It is upon Allah to punish or guide them through their transgression and not the children. Instead they should try their best to advocate them and make them see what’s right, but with utmost respect and entreats, not by ordering or forceful ways.The beautiful religion that Islam is it holds Respect for Parents amongst the highest virtues. It guides its followers to pay tribute for the travails and adversity a mother faces in giving birth and a father toils to bring up a child to make him a good human being. Islam makes us to comprehend the fact that life is a vicious cycle and we as parents might have to face the same situation before our children as we would offer to our parents. Who can forget the story of the perturbed pleas of the woman who was ready to give her only child to other woman, than see King Solomon cut it into two.
The Oceans of the Earth would drain, but a Mothers Heart would still beg for more Compassion
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1 comment:
Great post buddy..really appreciate your blogs.lot of food for thought indeed.Keep going!!
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